Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize