something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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