At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
