Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I need to align my fucking chakras
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
