He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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