how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
