I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
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He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
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I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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