I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
