what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
one might say we're banned from that church
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
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First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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