Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I believe in your delicious
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
