Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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