so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
