I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we made out on top of his cat.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
