you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
