Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
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I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
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he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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