just come out here and I will go home with you...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
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Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
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It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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