I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just found a bag of teeth...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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