We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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