Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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