so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
