Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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