To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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