I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
