you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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