plz talk dirty to me
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
