Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
