Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
