I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
