right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
