I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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