bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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