is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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