omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
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He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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