We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
