i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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