I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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