I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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