You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
