when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
