Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize