You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
