So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Pants are for mortals
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
