like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
