Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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