we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize