BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize