I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I FOUND THE LEGS
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
