i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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