im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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