Tell her she can't have a vagina
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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