The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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