he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
one might say we're banned from that church
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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