I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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