I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
