WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize