Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
