Will you blow on my dice?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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