this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
