Kiss
Puke
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
